To Communicate or Not to CommunicateJul 05, 2012 07:00PM ● By Aaron Doerges
It has been said that communication is the universal solvent. Relationship counselors from time immemorial have noted the importance of communication to the success or failure of any relationship. Conversely, it has also been thoroughly demonstrated that communicating can be dangerous. In life, communication can get you into trouble more quickly than anything you’ve ever known!
If you were to be in thorough and complete communication with a car and a road, you would certainly have no difficulty safely driving that car. But if you were only in partial communication with the car and in no communication with the road, it is fairly certain that an accident would occur. Most accidents occur when the driver is distracted by an argument he has had, or by texting, or by seeing a white cross alongside the road indicating a motorist’s demise, or even by his own fear of accidents.
It might be said that the solution to communication is not to communicate. One might say if he hadn’t communicated in the first place, he wouldn’t be in trouble now. Perhaps there is some truth to this. But there is more truth in the fact that moving in the direction of ‘making communication unnecessary’ or ‘reducing communication’ is no solution at all, but rather a slow and certain death sentence. A man is as dead if he can’t communicate. A man is as alive as he can communicate. Through experience and testing, it has been demonstrated that the only remedy for "livingness" is further "communicatingness".
Why then do people cease to communicate? An inability or unwillingness to communicate comes about because people lack the skills and understanding necessary for effective communication. As a result, they have losses, failures and upsets that make the subject of communicating and the prospect of continuing to communicate entirely unpleasant. It seems silly to think that one would have trouble communicating; after all, most of us have been doing it our entire lives (or at least trying). But figure, 20 years of doing something poorly will certainly not make one an expert in that area.
The truth is the ability to effectively communicate is no more a natural talent than the ability to dance, operate machinery or throw a curve ball. Sure, some people are more predisposed to success in this area, but to really become competent and effective, it takes some guidance and work. It doesn’t matter if a person is shy or bold. It does matter that a person understands the basics of communication and that there is a true technique and methodology. One must add to his ability to communicate regularly.
For a great many years, I asked the question: "To communicate or not to communicate?" If one gets himself in such thorough trouble by communicating, then of course one would think to stop. But this is not the case. If one gets into trouble by communicating, he should further communicate. More communication, not less, is the answer. I tend to consider this riddle solved after a quarter century of investigation and pondering.
Aaron Doerges holds a degree from University of Florida’s College of Journalism and Communications and is working at the Church of Scientology Tampa as the Public Contact and Information Secretary. For more information, email Doerges at [email protected] or call 813-872-0722.